I had the honor of speaking at his funeral and I thought I would share my comments from that today in memory of him and in hopes that even now God can use his death for your good.
“I want to thank DiAnna for the opportunity to speak today, though I’d rather be doing almost anything else rather than speaking at the funeral for my dear friend Bob Smith. Two weeks ago I was in the Tri-Cities with Bob doing our regular bargain shopping trip and if you had told me then that I would not see him again – that he’d be gone 4 days later – I could not have imagined it. When DiAnna called me Thanksgiving morning with the news, I accused her of joking with me for 5 minutes before she finally convinced me that she wasn’t. The realization brought me to my knees. I was telling my wife, Christie, that I had imagined losing her or losing my parents and what that would feel like – but I just never thought of losing Bob. He was so full of life – wasn’t he? How can Bob be gone?
In speaking today I have a couple of purposes. Those of you here today are here because in some way Bob’s life touched yours – and this is an unexpected and shocking loss. You’re grieving. We’re grieving… And I want to be with people who knew and loved Bob – I want to mourn his loss with you and celebrate his life. I want to honor and pay my respects to this man whom we all valued for all that he was. Many of you have posted your comments and memories about Bob on Facebook. My wife and I wept together as we watched so many of you change your profile picture to a picture of Bob. Thank you for sharing – there is great comfort in grieving and remembering together. So for the next few moments I hope you are comforted as I share some of my memories about Bob.
Taking stock of a life and trying to summarize its significance and meaning – I’ve discovered the last few days – is not an easy thing to do. How do you measure a man? How do you express how all the little mundane routine things of life measured up to something huge – to something precious and valuable? Life just happens – relentlessly the days pass and rarely do we try to take stock of what it all means – we are just living.
I remember when I moved to Moses Lake about 6 years ago, remarking or really complaining to my wife that I had no friends. Not close ones. I knew and enjoyed lots of people but not anyone who really knew me well – and still liked me anyway. I met Bob my first week working at Genie – in the materials department. David Dyer was our supervisor and needed volunteers for an overtime Saturday project – I volunteered because I needed the money and Bob volunteered … well because Bob was crazy about overtime. I remember a few weeks into Genie David asked Bob and me again if we would work overtime – Bob of course immediately said yes and Dave turned to me and I hesitated. I was like “I’ve just worked a 55 hour week I really don’t want to come in tomorrow” and was about to voice that sentiment when Bob, sensing what I was about to say, interjected with – “Oh yeah Ken will be there too – Come on Ken it will be fun.” As if cleaning up outside the high bays at Genie was the best thing he could think of doing on a Saturday. As soon as Dave left, Bob scolded me. “You looked like you were going to say ‘No’ you can’t do that. It is a good thing I was here to save you.” Ummm….. Thanks Bob….
But on that first Saturday project it was fun, and while I didn’t know it at the time I was finding the friend I was longing for. Bob struck me at the time as smart and likable as we discussed money management and investing, which was to have a major impact on my life. But he also struck me as more than a little eccentric. I mean who has 200 jars of peanut butter? And I’d never seen anyone get so excited about 99 cent cheese. Who pours cayenne pepper in their eyes – on purpose anyway?
Very early on Bob invited me and my family over for dinner. My wife asked me about him and I said…. “Well, he’s this outrageous, crazy guy who says some things that are a little shocking, but you know they invited us so… It’ll be okay. And it was okay. And then he invited us over again the next week. Which we thought was strange, but we went again. Then he invited us over again and we saw a pattern developing and decided we better have them over. I had said I wanted a friend – a close friend – but I hadn’t ever considered how that happened. Bob taught me that friendship – deep friendship rather than casual – involves investing time in each other. It is not our cultural norm to be in each other’s homes on a very regular basis. Home is our retreat – the world stays out and when someone breaks that barrier we often think of it as an intrusion. Bob taught me that deep friendships are formed when we let people into our personal spaces and by investing time in each other’s lives.
And he invested in many of your lives as well. Tom Cox, Bob and I made 150 pounds of Thai food over the course of 2 days – Making vanilla will Dan Delano – going to the movies with John Gamble – he spent a lot of time with several of you in weight training. And Bob appreciated each of you. Even though I have been gone from Genie for over 2 years, it is almost as if I never left because Bob kept me up to date on everything going on. If I could replay all the things Bob has said to me about you over the years I know you would feel how much he appreciated you. I can’t mention all of you, but I do want to say specifically to Tom Cox how much he appreciated your friendship and partnership at work. He really cared for you and respected you. I know he would have trusted you to fill his shoes as difficult as that must be for you. And Bob Rogers I don’t know you like I know Tom, but I feel like I’ve got to know you through Bob. He very much appreciated, enjoyed and respected you and your leadership as his boss. Each of you made an impact with Bob as he made one with you.
Bob had a great sense of humor and lighting quick wit, and if you didn’t get offended you never laughed so much as when you were with Bob. I’m sure everyone in here has a Bob story. Some of my favorites include the ball-kicking story, the Ben-Gay story–yes I know about that–the raisin story (which is really my story but Bob made it funny and made me tell it to every person at Genie) , the theater story – and over time we can share each of our stories with each other in memory of Bob. I want to share one story about Bob that seems to capture his way with people. Bob could say things to people that if I said them they would take me outside and beat the heck out of me. I think Bob could get away with it because he always said things without malice. So around Christmas time Bob made me go to Walmart with him to look for deals. I really didn’t want to go to Walmart and who does around Christmas time, but I went. And it was packed with people and I found myself getting increasingly irritated. As we were walking down the candy aisle the lady in front of me stopped and there was no way to get around her since the aisle was so crowded. Then the guy behind me rudely said “why don’t you guys get out of the way – your blocking my path.” As if we could just magically move out of his way. I was about to tell this guy exactly what he could go do with himself when Bob grabbed the front of my shirt and ducked down in front of me hiding his face and said, “Ken hide me from the mean man. Where’s your Christmas spirit Sir? Ma’am is that your husband? Is he a jerk?” I hung my head in embarrassment and tried to hide myself. But you can probably guess what the “mean man” did… he laughed. No way in a million I could have pulled that off, even if I wanted to. But Bob could lighten the mood and confront the issue without being angry. He understood and accepted that people are not perfect and was somehow able to sympathize with their frustration. On my last trip with Bob last Friday, my van was filled and overflowing with over $1000 of groceries and guy just pulled out right in front of me and made a U-turn. I had to slam on the brakes and I was instantly angry. As the guy passed us he knocked on his head saying “sorry my bad.” My attitude was like “Yeah – your bad” but Bob leans OVER MY SEAT and waves at the guy and says “no problem, it’s okay” with a huge smile. It was not fake – it came out of him spontaneously. I wish I had more time with him just to have that trait rub off on me.
Bob was unusually genuine. Most people have a least some level of façade they are maintaining. But with Bob, he was pretty much what you saw. Bob told me he only got drunk one time, but he wasn’t any less inhibited – he stayed exactly the same.
There are a lot of traits you could list about Bob – hard-working, funny, smart, family man, loyal, easily delighted, enthusiastic, extroverted, faithful, but I think the one that will stick with me the most was his ability to encourage me and make me feel valuable. When I was feeling down after being laid off at Genie, Bob was constantly calling me to check on how I was doing. And even in my new position at Bank of America I have at times felt overwhelmed, but Bob just consistently encouraged me to hang in there and gave great advice on dealing with obstacles there.
There is one other part of Bob I cannot help but share – I know he would want me to. As you know Bob had a blunt way of speaking at times. Not necessarily polished. And I think if he were able to tell me he would say “don’t pull any punches here, Ken – I want my friends to hear this.” So as much as I can I want to honor how I think Bob would like this said… Death is not just a realty for Bob. Every single one of us in this room will die. The Bible says “It is appointed to all men once to die and afterwards to face the judgment.” That is a stark reality. There is no escaping it as much as we might like to. And to add insult to injury the manner and timing of our inevitable deaths is an unknown. It could be in an instant and while we are young like Bob. We could be old and senile. It could be cancer or an accident. We don’t know. The manner of Bob’s death and his youth should make us think about our own mortality and what we will say to God at that judgment.
Bob was not a particularly religious man. In fact he bore some severe scars from religion. Bob also knew he wasn’t perfect and despite the honor we are rightfully giving him for the life he lived, I think we call all agree that he had his flaws. And so do each of us. “Flaws” is not blunt enough – failures – sin – evil. When Bob stood before God on Thanksgiving Day I guarantee he did not walk up to God and say, “Hey, let me in – I never did a thing wrong – I am perfect.” Nor did he say “Well I did my best God and I think if you weigh the good things I have done against the bad things I have done – it should come out ok.” Now that is what is commonly believed. And that may be true in comparison to other people, however that answer – “I was a good person” – the Bible says will get you sent straight to Hell. Bob made me say it. And I long for you to hear it and receive it.
Jesus said “I did not come for the righteous (the people who think they are good), I came to bring sinners to repentance.” He said, “I did not come for those who don’t need a doctor, I came for the sick.” So please stop thinking you are going to make it to heaven because you are good – you aren’t good enough and if you think you are Jesus says “I didn’t come for you.” When Bob stood before God on Thanksgiving, his answer to why he should be in heaven was – GRACE. Grace…. Grace is when you are given something you don’t deserve. And grace was poured out for you on the cross two thousand years ago when Jesus who was God came down from heaven as a man and poured out his life’s blood that you might be forgiven. It is HIS perfection – not yours that qualifies you for heaven. If you will humble yourself enough to confess your sin and your need of grace. The Father is waiting with open arms to receive you, just as he received Bob here on this earth and in heaven 9 days ago. It doesn’t matter how bad you have been – Where your sin is great, his grace overflows cleansing you of all impurity. Only by receiving that grace can a man as imperfect as Bob or as sinful as me stand in the presence of God – accepted and forgiven. I hope that you will not let his opportunity of Bob’s death and the truth of this message be lost or forgotten. I would be happy to talk to you anytime if you have more questions or want to pray.
In conclusion I would like to talk to Bob’s family. To DiAnna’s parents – God put your daughter with you for perhaps the most difficult thing she has faced. God certainly knew Bob would die and he prepared your home and your hearts to comfort DiAnna though this time. To Bob’s Mom and Steve – I am very grateful to have come to know you through the trips over to Seattle that we made. I know think were rough for a while especially after Bob’s dad died, but I know that Bob loved you and he knew you loved him. Thank you for your words to me yesterday on what I meant to Bob. I will miss him for the rest of my life.
Mercedes, Alexis and Jag – Thanks for sharing your Dad with me – he was a great man and a treasured friend and I hope I can help as much as possible with his loss. It is okay to cry and to grieve and you miss him always. He loved each of you very much and he always wanted to show you that. Remember him coming to your soccer games and the gifts he gave you and the one on one time you got to spend with him this year. It meant a lot to him.
DiAnna – Bob was so excited about the marriage group he was in with you this year. He talked about it all the time. He even skipped movie night with me to be at it. Bob met his match in you. And you met your match in him. I know you will grieve this loss for a long time to come and no matter how long we live there will be a scar. But I know we both would say that as painful as this time is – the loss would have been greater if we had never known Bob. Please lean on us. Bob’s friends are your friends. And we are here for you in whatever way we can help.
And to Bob – Can’t wait to see you again Buddy.”
I had the honor of speaking at his funeral and I thought I would share my comments from that today in memory of him and in hopes that even now God can use his death for your good.
Two ways to think about taxes. Everyone should pay a portion of their income (as small as possible) to ensure that defense and infrastructure needs are met or…
the tax code should be used to press the agenda of whatever the current whim of the US Congress is – ie tax credits.
Tax credits also inflate the cost of the product they are incentivizing or artificially support what would otherwise be a nonviable product.
I am for the elimination of most tax credits (targeted) in exchange for the overall reduction and simplification of taxes for everyone (broad)
Reducing taxes on corporations is NOT a “give-away” for nasty corporations it is an expense reduction to YOUR employer that allows for better margins and increased profitability that benefits you as an employee and as a consumer. Corporations in the US are taxed higher than any other industrialized nation at 35%.
Eliminating a 500 dollar teacher’s credit, or housing interest deductions or electric car credit or student loan interest or state taxes while 1) doubling the standard deduction 2) increasing the child tax credit to 1600 (to offset the loss of the 4000 exemption) 3) lowering significantly the tax rate for nearly everyone 4) eliminating the Alternative Minimum Tax 5) Making it much simpler to file (no milage records to keep, no need for most people to itemize) These changes more than offset any loss from tax credits – How does that not make sense?
The sacred “adoption credit” This is a more significant loss because it is such a large credit but here are some questions for all those waxing eloquent on the evils of removing this credit. 1) Why do you believe your neighbor should be required to pay anything via taxes for you to adopt a child? 2) What percent should your neighbor be forced to pay in order for your moral outrage to go down – 100% 75% 10%? 3) What was the cost of adoption before the government began subsidizing it? 4) Why do you believe that funneling your money through the government for adoption is MORE efficient than having your friends and family have more disposable income to aid with the cost of adoption?
A simplified code and reduction in actual taxes paid and removal of special credits for the elite in Washington’s agenda (even those I agree with) is a great proposal regardless of the fact that Donald Trump proposed it.
Let’s keep this as simple as possible.
The first principle that needs to be understood is that when our founding fathers were setting the shape of this country there was great concern that states maintain their rights and equal representation. So two houses of congress were formed. The House of Representatives which is comprised of members proportionate to the population of each state. And the upper body, the Senate, which has 2 senators from each state regardless of population. This was to protect the rights of smaller states. This is a long-standing tradition of protecting the rights of the underdog in this country.
The electoral college functions in much the same way. By way of example suppose we hypothesize with only 4 states. Suppose California had a population of 4 million and received 4 electoral college votes. Florida has a population of 3 million and receives 3 electoral votes. Washington receives 2 votes for it’s 2 million and Maine receives 1 vote for its 1 million.
Now suppose in California 70% of the population love and vote for Hillary. That’s 2.8 Million votes for Hillary and 1.2 Million for Trump.
Then the other 3 states vote solidly for Trump at 60% for Trump. That would be 3.6 Million votes for Trump and 2.4 Million for Hillary. So the interests of 3 of 4 states would solidly be in favor of Trump and the electoral vote would be 6 for Trump and 4 for Hillary.
But if we used pure popular vote it would be 5.2 million for Hillary and 4.8 Million for Trump and Hillary would win. Now you may think Hillary should win in this scenario because she received the most votes, but if she won the will of 3 of 4 states would be disregarded for the sake of one state simply because of its population advantage. So the Electoral college is the best solution for having a measure of influence based on population size while maintaining appropriate rights and influence for each individual state.
If you are on the losing side of this race you may not like it, but this system is vastly superior to letting highly populous states have all the decision-making ability for every other state.
Note: the actual way electoral college voters are distributed are by the number of federal congresspeople in each state. So Washington State has 10 representatives (based on population) and 2 senators so 12 total Electoral College votes.
I John 2:8 “Because the darkness is passing away and the true light is already shinning.”
There seems to me to be a great chasm between my most holy and righteous works and God’s righteousness. It is a chasm unscalable by my great discipline or willpower or ability. It is infinitely high I cannot get there. The law – the command – that I must get there is not meant to imply that I can, simply that I must. And if I don’t destruction awaits. Continue reading “The Passing Darkness in the Already Shinning Light”
We tend to think of this world as something God wound up and set in order but that He does not involve Himself directly in everything that happens. Often we say this to “protect” God from being accused of being evil or unjust when a natural disaster strikes. That wasn’t God – that was just the earth being the earth. You will not find this language in the Bible and would be hard pressed even to tease out that kind of implication from Scripture. God is not afraid Continue reading “Do Not Fear – God Controls the Waves”
I think some of the differences lie in
1) Only Trumpers consider Hillary to be way more evil than Trump – While never Trumpers think it is impossible to distinguish.
2) Only Trumpers believe that Trump will do what he says and is committed to a conservative course of action this is why you overlook his character deficiencies for the sake of his policies – While never Trumpers consider him to have zero credibility to do what he says he will do and maintain that his one commitment is to himself. He is not operating off of principles he believes but off of what he believes will advance himself and his personal agenda. And he will use whatever force he can including lying to accomplish it.
3) Only Trumpers appreciate Trump’s strong-armed approach ie if you disagree with me or resist me I will threaten to sue you – I will discredit everything about you via personal attacks, not facts – I will attempt to manipulate the press to undermine you. You consider his attacks candor and political incorrectness and take it as proof that he is not an insider and can’t be bought or sold. Never Trumpers see this behavior as feckless, with anti-American totalitarian instincts not dissimilar from Obama’s “screw you I’m going to issue an executive order” but with less intelligence and even more potential for damage.
4) Only Trumpers believe no matter what horrible character flaws Trump may have we must vote for him because a democrat is always worse. Never Trumpers feel that Trump as the standard bearer for conservatism or even republicanism has the potential to do more damage to conservatives than a Hillary presidency because the litany of stupid things he will say or do he will do in my name as a conservative. The litany of stupid things Hillary will do will be done in the name of liberalism. I am not suggesting here that I would have rather given up the presidency to let Hillary shoot herself in the foot but since we are down to these two choices and believing what I do about Trump I cannot see an iota of good than can come from voting Hillary or Trump.
How to Love God
And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” And he said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.” Luke 10:25-27
We often think of the above text as a New Testament command – a softer summation of the Old Testament laws. But actually the lawyer was quoting the Old Testament. Continue reading “How to Love God – Part 1”
To the extent the Law of God is made attainable with statements like
– do your best and God will do the rest – we not only cheapen what the law says we lose grace in the process.
The law clearly says “your best efforts” are not going to be sufficient – more than that they are only going to serve to condemn you. God is not saying for us to do what we can and whatever we can’t do he will make up the difference. Instead he is saying our best efforts are tainted with sin and instead of calling us to work our way up to him by doing better he calls us to Faith in the Perfect One. Continue reading “Do Your Best and God Will Do The Rest?”
‘Twas the night before Christmas – no not the one with tinsel and bows and Christmas trees – the one over 2000 years ago. Almost no one knew what was coming and even those that had an inkling did not understand the magnitude of the moment.
For most people it was just an ordinary night. No baited breath for what presents might be opened the next day. No day off work. Just an everyday day. The world was teetering on the edge of the most remarkable event in its history Continue reading “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas”
Here is what I have noticed about every story– there must be a plight. There must be a peril to be rescued from – Kirk must have Klingons endangering the Enterprise or there is no story – there is no glory – there is no rescue. Can you imagine Superman flying at the speed of light – shadow boxing – “don’t be afraid – I’m here to save the day” if there were no bad guys – if there was nothing to be rescued from? You would think that guy is crazy. What is he doing? Saved me from what? Continue reading “Every Good Story…”